It has been difficult past two weeks, seeing someone in the extended family pass away suddenly from a fatal brain stroke. It was shocking because it happened suddenly, but does any loss happen suddenly, or is life eroding slowly in ways that are hard to notice?
During times like these, people try to say something useful and positive to offer solace to the grieving family members. However, what I realized through experiences like these is – it’s not important what you “say” but that you just “stay” with them.
Sometimes, words cannot heal the wounds that our presence can. Not trying to fix anything. Not trying to say something, however well-intentioned it may be. Just being there. Offering our presence while we let them grieve.
Simply observing, feeling, and witnessing all of it.
Words cannot bypass someone’s pain. Our presence (being with them) holds the space, and offers a pathway for light/healing to come through darkness, eventually if not immediately.
Perhaps, that is the essence of 13 day mourning period in Hindu tradition, where family and friends stay together with the grieving family to offer their presence and prayers.
It is a reminder that we are here, not to rescue other people from their pain, but to help them get through it by simply being with them.