Tanmay Vora in Daily Journal, Life Lessons, Random Thoughts | May 5, 2025

Dear Student

Dear *Student,

Congratulations on completing your 12th class exams, as well as a few competitive ones. I am proud about you making it this far with grit and determination. I know it has not been easy for you.

Your journey till now was a straight line – year after year, syllabus after syllabus and exam after exam – much like walking a straight path that many others have walked on before.

But now starts a phase that is more like finding your way out of the jungle where no trails exists. You have to carve out your unique path with combination of skills that can help you make a positive difference in the world.

Waiting for results, applying to various colleges, figuring out your path can feel overwhelming, but this is your opportunity to create a different path for yourselves through choices, turns, experiments, and discoveries about the world around you and about your own selves. This path you now create can possibly inspire others too.

Building a rewarding and fulfilling career is less like a destination and more like a journey. As you navigate your next best step, here are a few things you should keep in mind:

1) You cannot create a novel path for yourself if you simply follow what others have done. Be curious and follow what energizes you, not just what looks good on paper.

2) Skills > Degrees. Degrees are door openers, but skills are what keeps them open. “What skills?”, you may ask. The skills that you build at the intersection of what you truly love AND what helps others meaningfully. You can be highly qualified, but without skills and real ability to solve problems, qualifications are simply a piece of paper. “What kind of skills?” you may ask again. It has to be a combination of technical skills, functional skills (understanding the domain) and soft skills.

3) Escape the comparison trap. The world loves comparison, and ranking you on a scale. You are YOU – with your unique strengths, interests, and path. Comparison, they say, is the enemy of creativity. It is a way to keep you in the same track as others. Have courage to break free from the compliant path, and then you stand a chance to do something unique.

4) Learn what they don’t teach you in school but plays a HUGE role in your life, career and relationships. These would be things like communication, digital literacy (AI, tech tools, cyber security), public speaking, storytelling, collaborating with others, time management, investing, personal finance and curiosity. Most importantly, learn how to learn on your own through books, online forums and physical comunities. These are just a few that comes to mind.

You won’t know where exactly you are going, and that’s okay. You just have to take the next right step, and keep going. That’s what wayfinding is all about.

With love and belief in you,

Tanmay

P.S.: The *Student here refers to my daughter, my nephew and their friends, who may find this useful 🙂

Choices are a Signal

We say we care about family, and yet skip dinner with them to attend a late night meeting.

We say we value health, and yet we make poor food choices and skip exercising.

We say that creativity matters the most, and yet we scroll endlessly without creating anything.

If your choices don’t support what you value, then all talk is noise.

Choices are signals – loud, clear and undeniable.

They tell a story of what you “truly” value.

The story you live is the only truth – everything else is just hollow.

Confession of Character

The way you speak about the world says more about you than the world itself. When you constantly see negativity, chaos, or betrayal – ask WHY. Because our perspectives are shaped by our inner state. A kind heart sees kindness and a hopeful soul sees opportunities. If you are constantly bitter, it reflects inner wounds.

Words you use to describe the world are a mirror. It pays to think about what your words are revealing about you.

The Clarity Razor

A razor shaves off the inessential. Here is my Clarity Razor (inspired by this post from Bill and Don Tomoff)

The Clarity Razor

“Choose what amplifies your freedom, fuels your curiosity, and lets your work serve others generously.”

This is a simple framework that allows me to decide and evaluate things/people/ideas/priorities I engage with. It has three guiding values:

Generosity in Sharing: If it doesn’t help others grow, it’s probably not worth doing.
Independence: If it compromises your ability to choose your path, say no.
Lifelong Learning / Curiosity: If it doesn’t spark curiosity or deepen your wisdom, let it go.

Have you tried defining the filters (razors) to guide your pursuits?

A Few Things About Beating Anxiety

“Everyone around seems to be anxious about the future these days. What can they do to beat the anxiety?” is a question I asked to one of my friends who is deep into spirituality. A question that led to a deep conversation.

A few things became clear in my mind:

Anxiety happens when we think about outcome without thinking about the process
A deep commitment to process of learning can help beat anxiety
Deep commitment to learning means we need to be ready to fail and disregard failures
When our commitment to the process is strong, it is easy to reframe failures as a step in the journey – a learning opportunity to iterate and do better next time.
When anxious, take some action – however tiny it may be. Action creates momentum where overthinking creates resistance. Take the minimally viable small action quickly to get past anxiety.
Finally cultivating faith in something larger than yourself helps. One of my mentors once expressed that while your focus in on your next immediate step, the Universe (or the Higher Power) has your path figured out. The belief that we will be taken care of, that what’s happening with us now is leading you to what’s best for you, to faithfully act and leave the rest for the Universe to figure out – that is the ultimate hack.

Cultivating faith isn’t about religion – it is about taking action with conviction, even when outcomes are not guaranteed. It is about doing your part really well (your circle of control) and then surrendering to the higher power.

There’s no formula to build this resilience when everything around us is constantly shifting. But once we cultivate faith and be stoic about our circle of action, we are anchored, much like a small boat experiences the ocean, but doesn’t get carried away by the waves because it is anchored to the shore.

(Image courtesy: Dangelie Perez, Pexels.com)

Joy of Missing Out

The world tries to induce “Fear of Missing Out” on us. We end up feeling that we need to be on every meeting, project, opportunity or event that is happening around us.

In real life, the power sometimes lies in choosing NOT to chase every shiny thing and deliberately choosing to miss out. It’s called “The Joy of Missing Out” or JOMO – which is about making conscious decisions to skip the noise and distractions. It comes from a deep understanding that you cannot be a part of everything.

So instead of spreading yourself too thin, you just focus on what truly matters – whether it is reading that book, taking up that course, learning a new skill, building your own product etc.

JOMO is about missing out and that does not mean “losing out”. It is about gaining clarity and purpose by prioritizing the right thing.

That is the difference between achieving great things joyfully versus running in circles and ending up being frustrated

Key Question: What are you willing to miss out on, in order to truly focus on what matters to you?

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What you Give

This quote I read somewhere resonated strongly with me:

“What we give cannot be taken from us.”

We can give stuff, but the real giving is about enabling a long lasting positive change to the other person, to a group of people, and to society at large.

The beauty is you can start with just one person or one small cause.

Giving something that money cannot buy is the most valuable gift we can give others.

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Compound Burnout

Common perception: You burn out when you work too much, too longer. That’s a simple burn out.

Reality: You also feel burned out when you ignore your inherent skills/gifts to do work in environments that are unfulfilling yet well paying. It stifles your creativity and creates a void inside. That’s a compound burn out.

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Distracted 24×7

When you are constantly distracted by digital devices, notifications and by your own fear of missing out, you are never fully present.

When you try to focus on one thing, you feel like you are missing on countless other things happening on the internet.

This means you are never able to experience, enjoy and engage with anything at all.

Try NOT to be that person.

#NotetoSelf

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Ask, and you shall receive

“Ask and you shall get”, they say. Clarifying what you need to the world is an essential skill for success.

Many years ago, I struggled with this. The fear of what others would think paralyzed me from asking for what I needed. I underplayed my potential, till the time I saw one of my other colleagues asking.

My colleague very clearly asked for the kind of responsibilities and associated salary increase he wanted. He did it with conviction about what he was asking for and what he will need to do in order to deserve it.

When I started to put forward my ask firmly and clearly, I found success and fulfilment of living to my potential. I got book offers because I asked. I got consulting opportunities because I reached out. I got new responsibilities at work when I asked for it.

We often dread asking because it’s uncomfortable and there is a fear of rejection. We have to walk past that fear and ask anyway.

That is how we get to what we truly want – whether it is a certain kind of behavior from others, a salary increase, a different kind of opportunity that we are seeking etc.

So remember – you won’t get what you don’t ask for clearly. Your ability to ask is directly proportional to your courage and confidence in your own skill to make it happen.

The truth is – every ask is also an offer. You are demonstrating willingness to do more, courage to showcase your value and conviction in your abilities to do it.

Asking for something will sometimes result in a “No” – and that’s okay. Don’t let a few rejections of your ask discourage you from asking. The key is to learn from all the NO’s you encountered, so you can make your ask/offer clear.

Asking is a great strategy for success. Ask so that you get what you are worth.

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