The Art of Restart

The journey of building a good life is fraught with road blocks, failures and seemingly long roads that take you nowhere. 

When you encounter any of these, which you definitely will, remember: You can always RESTART.

When a computer system got slow, our IT team would always ask us to restart it. That often solved the problem. Restarting works as well for humans as for machines.

I had to take a pause during my most formative years when I struggled to find what I really wanted to do. Pausing and thinking about what I really wanted to do enabled me to choose a career in information technology. Two years into it, I was laid off due to recession. I was forced to restart the journey and initiate my own business. After few years in business, I decided to gain corporate exposure and that meant restarting into an entry level job and strive to move up the corporate ladder. I worked my way up by taking up diverse and global roles, many of which included doing things that I had NEVER done before. These restarts were supported by bosses and teams I worked with. When I reached the corporate peak leading 680+ people, I had a lot of comfort which was discomforting. Life priorities and lack of challenges led me to restart again and start my own consulting business – this time with 22+ years of experience and diverse skills under my belt. I am pretty sure I will continue this journey of restarting in future as well.

Restarting is not about erasing the past; it means learning from it to create a better future.

Life, after all, is a journey of never-ending new beginnings. In fact, doing things that you have never done before is how we grow and evolve. Seth Godin asks a very pretinent question, “When was the last time you did something for the first time?”

Restarting is not easy. It requires you to:

  • Be self-aware about your intrinsic skills, needs and desires
  • Take a pause and think through the inventory of what you have, what you want to do with what you have and what difference you wish to make in the world.
  • Give up on the fear of failure to embrace the unknown
  • Be comfortable with the ambiguity and uncertainty that comes with working in new domains and with new people solving new kinds of problems
  • Unlearn and let go of your preconceived beliefs about how things should work
  • Learn at the speed of change, be adaptable and respond to changing and challenging situations with agility
  • Give up on your need to be on a stable ground and be willing to step into uncharted territories (which might include moving places, mindset and industries)
  • Let go of your ego, and the need to be seen by others as successful
  • Ask for help from others when needed to accomplish what you have set out for
  • Build a network and be a part of newer communities around your interests
  • Take regular pauses to reflect and put your learning from last step into the next one

 Being able to restart is a super power in an uncertain world. It is almost like setting the dried weeds on fire so that you can uncover the fertile ground rich with possibilities and untapped potential.  

6/366

“How Much” or “How Well”

The famous violinist Nathan Milstein wrote: “Practice as much as you feel you can accomplish with concentration. Once when I became concerned because others around me practiced all day long, I asked [my mentor] Professor Auer how many hours I should practice, and he said, ‘It really doesn’t matter how long. If you practice with your fingers, no amount is enough. If you practice with your head, two hours is plenty.’”

“How much” you do is almost never as important as “how well” you do it. 

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different outcomes.” – Einstein

5/366

Deliberate Practice

Writing a blog for over 16 years is a deliberate practice. 

Working out several times a week is deliberate practice.

Creating sketchnotes consistently for 8+ years is a deliberate practice.

Keeping track of my financials with a goal to be debt free was a deliberate practice.

Before we delve into the mechanics of deliberate practice, consider this recent example:

In May of 2023, I hit a wall. I had elevated blood sugar level. My dad’s by-pass surgery and growing a new business added to my stress and anxiety. I had to do something about it.

I broke my need to improve health into a few areas:

  1. Stop the damage through medicines and immediate lifestyle changes
  2. Join a Diabetes reversal program that came with nutritional guidance, medical guidance and a continuous glucose monitor attached to my bloodstream.
  3. Getting a gym membership
  4. Committing to better sleep schedule (which in turn would manage stress as well)

These were the first steps, but I needed to be consistent at following the lifestyle changes in the weeks/months to come.

Deliberate practice is about being disciplined and intentional. I got a few sheets of paper, drew columns and started tracking a few essentials:

  • Diet intake (simple pen and paper journal of eating pattern that was required for CGM)
  • Exercise (day wise exercise minutes,  active calories burn, workout type etc). My Apple watch measured it all, but the act of writing the vitals elevated my consciousness. 
  • Sleep (sleep timing, restful sleep, sleeping heart rate etc)

Writing these simple things on a piece of paper became my end-of-the-day ritual that kept me focused and conscious.

Knowing I missed a few days at gym encouraged me to go. Seeing myself going off track with diet brought me back to being disciplined. I avoided taking late night work calls so that I could sleep on time. All this because I was accountable to a piece of paper. I was able to notice the patterns and course-correct my actions accordingly. 

CGM was taken off in two weeks but this practice of writing and journaling continued for three months. These actions, that seemed to weigh me down initially, started becoming a habit. Any significant improvement will always come with some degree of discomfort initially. In fact, you have to step out of your comfort zone if you want to learn anything new. 

When habits are formed (i.e. acting without being conscious about it), you no longer need to write. Moreover, jounaling could be something as simple as a checklist of activities/behaviors that you can tick off at the end each day.

“Whatever you pay attention to develops.”

The process worked. My blood sugar markers returned to normal and medicines were gradually reduced and then stopped. 

Deliberate practice is deliberating (thinking) on our practices (behaviours/actions) with focus on improvement. High-performing atheletes/professionals do this all the time. High-performing organizations measure right things. We should be no different. 

It is about being intentional and systematic about improvement through:

  • Breaking down the overall process into parts
  • Knowing what needs improvement within those parts
  • Creating a system (including coaching if required) to track improvement and be accountable  
  • Active and conscious pursuit of improvement through right actions
  • Jounaling/measuring to see the progress, notice behavioral patterns and building accountability to yourself
  • Aligning your actions based on feedback from metrics, patterns and what you learn from it.
  • Repeating and improving until repetitive behavior becomes a habit.

If you want to raise your consciousness about anything you wish to improve upon, try practicing it deliberately. It works!

4/366

Our Most Valuable Resource (3/366)

We have a tendency to complicate things. We get caught up in stuff that doesn’t matter. The time we have is short (even though it doesn’t feel like that) and uncertain. Guarding it means being able choose wisely.

We don’t say no because we are unable to see what we are losing. That which we cannot see, we find hard to acknowledge. Things that come for free (e.g. endless social media feeds) have a huge invisible cost.

No is not just about “saying” it to others. It is about the “choices” we make to improve the quality of our lives.

Gratitude Unlocks the Fullness of Life (2/366)

As a kid, I once compared my belongings with that of my richer friends. When I once complained about it, my mom took me to the balcony to guide my attention to a construction site nearby. The kids of labourers barely had clothes on their bodies but were happily playing in the heap of sand. A lesson for the lifetime was learned – that I can never be happy if I am not grateful about the blessings I already have. What we have today may be a dream for someone else.

Love the following quote from American author Melody Beattie,

Waking Up to First Day of the Year (1/366)

New year’s eve was a simple family affair. The day was filled with love, laughter and good food with family. As the clock ticked closer to 12AM, we sat together anticipating fireworks around us before calling it a day. That wait felt longer as it always does when you anticipate anything. 

Kids started reflecting on 2023 which, for them, was mostly about their academic and extra-curricular pursuits. Interestingly, one of the high-points for my 11 yrs old son was getting a set of acrylic markers for his artistic endeavors! Kids revel in small joys of life that we grown-ups often take for granted. We took turns to look back at 2023 and express what we hope for in 2024. It is a powerful family exercise that I recommend we should do several times in a year. Collective expression of hopes, desires and fears only strengthens the bond we share.

At the end of it with just 5 minutes to go, one thing was clear. We were deeply grateful for everything 2023 had to offer. Despite all challenges including life threatening medical situations in the family, we were grateful for the strength we received to handle it all with grace, calm and a stoic focus on our circle of action. As they say, “All’s well that ends well.”

“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can clearly say to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own..” – Epictetus, Discourses 

Calm optimism and gratitude fills the air around me on the first day of 2024. That’s what a new year does to us. A new dawn that brings 366 fresh opportunities (thanks to a leap year) to embrace new experiences, follow your heart’s path and be kind to others along the way. A blank slate to write the story our heart yearns to write.

Wishing you a joyful, abundant and glorious 2024! 

A New You, Anytime of the Year

Why wait for a new year to commit to being your better self and set goals/resolutions.

Dividing time into years and months is a construct created by us humans.

Remember: You can reinvent yourself any time you decide to. If anything is worth doing, it is worth doing it now.

Inner Boundaries

I played cricket after a really long time through participation in my neighborhood’s premier league. The opponent teams had players far younger than me with prowess to throw high-speed deliveries. The first couple of matches were really hard. I could barely guard the wicket for a ball or two before getting bowled out.

Third match was a turn-around. Before the match, I affirmed myself with the following:

You get bowled out, not by an opponent’s speed of bowling, but by your internal anxiety to perform. Let it go, calm down, watch the ball carefully and play it according to it’s merit. Defend good deliveries (read tough times) and wait for the loose ones (read opportunities) to take your chances. Let go of your need to show your performance and score runs. Focus instead on each ball, it’s trajectory, pitching and length before doing justice to it. Score can just be an outcome of your ability to enjoy the game.

In that match, I hit five boundaries and everyone around was amazed. The big lesson for me is: It’s always about conquering ourselves first before we can conquer anything in the outer world.

Seneca rightly said,

“A rational soul is stronger than any kind of fortune – from its own share, it guides its affairs here or there, and is itself the cause of a happy or miserable life.”

Ability to stitch yourself together when situations tear you apart is a life skill that no one teaches. We have to do it ourselves. Strengthening the soul is the work of our life.

We are in semi-finals as I write this. Outcome will not matter knowing that I crossed a few inner boundaries!

Letting it go?

Buddhist wisdom says that in order to attain peace we need to:

1) Let go.

2) Let go of letting go. (letting go as an act to feed the ego)

Let me explain it through this beautiful story from Osho.

Osho once stayed with a devotee. During his conversations, devotee would often refer to the fact that he kicked a fortune of millions to be a devotee. He shared this under different pretexts every day.

Osho asked, “When did you renounce your fortune?”, “Thirty Years Ago”, devotee replied.

Osho said, “Your kick was not very effective or else there would be no need to be reminded of it time and again. Renunciation should have been the end of the matter. You kicked the fortune but the notion of your past fortune is still following you.”

When we let go of things and boast about our greatness in doing it, we haven’t really let anything go. We are just attached to something else.

Listening to our intuition

In a noisy world, it is easy to miss the signals that you get from within. Listening to the self requires us to detach, slow down and be intentional about listening to our internal dialogue.

Acting on your intuition may require you to go against the tide of expectations that world may have from you.

Listening to your intuition requires stillness. Acting on it requires courage.