Gratitude Unlocks the Fullness of Life (2/366)

As a kid, I once compared my belongings with that of my richer friends. When I once complained about it, my mom took me to the balcony to guide my attention to a construction site nearby. The kids of labourers barely had clothes on their bodies but were happily playing in the heap of sand. A lesson for the lifetime was learned – that I can never be happy if I am not grateful about the blessings I already have. What we have today may be a dream for someone else.

Love the following quote from American author Melody Beattie,

Waking Up to First Day of the Year (1/366)

New year’s eve was a simple family affair. The day was filled with love, laughter and good food with family. As the clock ticked closer to 12AM, we sat together anticipating fireworks around us before calling it a day. That wait felt longer as it always does when you anticipate anything.

Kids started reflecting on 2023 which, for them, was mostly about their academic and extra-curricular pursuits. Interestingly, one of the high-points for my 11 yrs old son was getting a set of acrylic markers for his artistic endeavors! Kids revel in small joys of life that we grown-ups often take for granted. We took turns to look back at 2023 and express what we hope for in 2024. It is a powerful family exercise that I recommend we should do several times in a year. Collective expression of hopes, desires and fears only strengthens the bond we share.

At the end of it with just 5 minutes to go, one thing was clear. We were deeply grateful for everything 2023 had to offer. Despite all challenges including life threatening medical situations in the family, we were grateful for the strength we received to handle it all with grace, calm and a stoic focus on our circle of action. As they say, “All’s well that ends well.”

“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can clearly say to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own..” – Epictetus, Discourses

Calm optimism and gratitude fills the air around me on the first day of 2024. That’s what a new year does to us. A new dawn that brings 366 fresh opportunities (thanks to a leap year) to embrace new experiences, follow your heart’s path and be kind to others along the way. A blank slate to write the story our heart yearns to write.

Wishing you a joyful, abundant and glorious 2024!

A New You, Anytime of the Year

Why wait for a new year to commit to being your better self and set goals/resolutions.

Dividing time into years and months is a construct created by us humans.

Remember: You can reinvent yourself any time you decide to. If anything is worth doing, it is worth doing it now.

Inner Boundaries

I played cricket after a really long time through participation in my neighborhood’s premier league. The opponent teams had players far younger than me with prowess to throw high-speed deliveries. The first couple of matches were really hard. I could barely guard the wicket for a ball or two before getting bowled out.

Third match was a turn-around. Before the match, I affirmed myself with the following:

You get bowled out, not by an opponent’s speed of bowling, but by your internal anxiety to perform. Let it go, calm down, watch the ball carefully and play it according to it’s merit. Defend good deliveries (read tough times) and wait for the loose ones (read opportunities) to take your chances. Let go of your need to show your performance and score runs. Focus instead on each ball, it’s trajectory, pitching and length before doing justice to it. Score can just be an outcome of your ability to enjoy the game.

In that match, I hit five boundaries and everyone around was amazed. The big lesson for me is: It’s always about conquering ourselves first before we can conquer anything in the outer world.

Seneca rightly said,

“A rational soul is stronger than any kind of fortune – from its own share, it guides its affairs here or there, and is itself the cause of a happy or miserable life.”

Ability to stitch yourself together when situations tear you apart is a life skill that no one teaches. We have to do it ourselves. Strengthening the soul is the work of our life.

We are in semi-finals as I write this. Outcome will not matter knowing that I crossed a few inner boundaries!

Letting it go?

Buddhist wisdom says that in order to attain peace we need to:

1) Let go.

2) Let go of letting go. (letting go as an act to feed the ego)

Let me explain it through this beautiful story from Osho.

Osho once stayed with a devotee. During his conversations, devotee would often refer to the fact that he kicked a fortune of millions to be a devotee. He shared this under different pretexts every day.

Osho asked, “When did you renounce your fortune?”, “Thirty Years Ago”, devotee replied.

Osho said, “Your kick was not very effective or else there would be no need to be reminded of it time and again. Renunciation should have been the end of the matter. You kicked the fortune but the notion of your past fortune is still following you.”

When we let go of things and boast about our greatness in doing it, we haven’t really let anything go. We are just attached to something else.

Listening to our intuition

In a noisy world, it is easy to miss the signals that you get from within. Listening to the self requires us to detach, slow down and be intentional about listening to our internal dialogue.

Acting on your intuition may require you to go against the tide of expectations that world may have from you.

Listening to your intuition requires stillness. Acting on it requires courage.

The way you do it

You can do trivial things as if the world runs on your shoulders. Or you can do mighty things in spirit of playfulness.

It is our awareness that matters. Awareness enables us to choose our discretion towards our work.

Great work is always a reflection of joy that the creator pursues.

This quote by Ram Dass is a powerful reframe of how we see our work and life.

StoicNotes: Be Your Own Witness

In our need to belong, we sometimes rely too much on what others think of us. When we seek too much validation in external stuff – titles, pay packages, status, other people etc. – we stray away from who we truly are. We step away from that which is uniquely ours.

Epictetus prompts us to have an inner scorecard that we abide to. Do what truly brings us alive, be who we truly are and constantly seek clarity on these aspects while conducting ourselves.

The seeds you plant..

In a world of instant gratification, be someone who plants seeds – of effort, of generosity, of making a difference to the self and others.

The rewards may not be instant and it doesn’t matter.

The mindset of planting seeds versus reaping rewards is a powerful one in itself.

Achieve, then move on!

A related thought from Michael Wade:

“An excessive ego can be a chain that slows our advance. It can also resemble a curtain that keeps out the light. It can become a wall that causes us to see only our turf and not the larger expanse that should be our concern. It can poison relationships, cloud memories, and subvert judgment. “. Some of us never recover.”