Be Gentle with People Who Love You

Be gentle with people who love you. Because we often take them for granted the most. 

Treat them gently. Tell them how much you love them. Thank them. Give them a surprise. Just notice small acts of love.

Gratitude in relationships brings appreciation for the goodness you are surrounded with.

Being good to people who are good to you is the least you can do for them.

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What Actions Say!

The other day, we met someone and the conversation started around diet and nutrition. 

He shared with us that since he is a diabetic, he has stopped eating Wheat and Rice completely. We took a casual note of this without paying much attention. 

The next day, he shared an Instagram reel of eating a loaded burger. A few days later, he was seen relishing some other unhealthy stuff. 

That is how people are. Their actions are far away from the ideals they describe in their words. 

Therefore, when you want to judge people, pay little attention to what they “say” and more attention to what they “do”.

For actions, they speak way louder than words. 

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Scarcity..

creates demand. 

Do things that are scarce and you’ll never be out of job. Build a set of unique skills that are inherent to you. Blend them together to create something that only YOU can do.

If you want to be valued, be scarce. 

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Work is Play

If you want to succeed and be happy, remember this:

Do more of what looks like work to others but is play for you.

For me, helping people grow is play. Creating visual synthesis of great ideas is play. Writing is play. Improving things and solving problems is play. I would do it (and I have done it) even when no one would pay me for it. 

Find out what feels like ”play” when you do it – and then build upon it. 

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A Journey of a 1000 miles

If you want to run a marathon, don’t start with thinking about which wall will you showcase your medals on. 

Start with running a kilometre or two. Focus on building strength and stamina so that you can run 5 kms.

Do it for a while and then run 10 kms. Then take up a half-marathon.

This is how we build our capacity to do bigger things. That’s how we build confidence. 

That’s probably the reason they say that a journey of a 1000 miles begins with a single step. 

What’s that small next step for you?

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Focus on Your Circle of Control

“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can clearly say to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own.” – Epictetus, Discourses

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Embrace Turbulence

You board a flight and it takes off. At that point, you are not expecting turbulence. 

But then, weather up there is uncertain. Turbulence is very much a possibility that pilots have to factor in when they take off. 

The problem with us is: We expect no turbulence when we plan our actions for the future.We love plans that are fixed and set in stone. We expect everything else out there to be consistent and constant. We expect that all our assumptions will turn out to be true. But they often don’t.  

So here is something worth remembering: Your plan is only your intention. Reality is that turbulence will happen.

In a constantly changing world, turbulence is our opportunity to adapt, innovate and learn new things. Expect it. Factor it in your plan. Build a mindset that helps you be agile. Turbulent weather often tests the skill and resilience of a pilot that a fair weather never can. 

Navigating through turbulence and finding your way out is a vital skill to build if you are taking the road less travelled to a worthwhile destination. 

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Communication Essentials

When I coach people in teams, I often ask an open ended question and let the other person speak. The less I speak, the more I can hear. 

In meetings, everyone wants to speak and express. I usually speak last or only after I have gathered my thoughts in mind. Speaking less, paradoxically, means you get heard. 

Thoughts have a tendency to flood our mind. Unless we practice, we will naturally speak at the speed of our thoughts. Which means, we will speak a lot. 

The key to learning, understanding and analysing a situation is to speak less. Let the signals come to you while you are attentively silent. 

And when you have to, speak clearly using less words. This takes practice but try to speak fewer words and shorter sentences without diluting the message. 

Paradoxically, when you do that, your messages become powerful. 

Finally, one of the most powerful ways to speak less is to speak slowly. Don’t rush your words. Take your time, pause between sentences, be calm and collected. 

Speaking slowly is a sign of confidence and clarity. Speaking only when you are prepared is a sign of cognitive maturity. Not speaking (and listening) when other person is speaking is a sign of empathy.

Do this and see your communication skills go to the next level. 

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Decisions

After my schooling, I spent a full year dabbling into different courses (architecture, industrial chemistry, civil engineering). I did not pursue any of those because I wasn’t convinced they aligned with my interests.

I chose software engineering, a very new career option at the time. Since admissions to most colleges were completed, I had to opt for an degree course from private institute.

That decision did not go well with many well-intentioned people around me including friends and family. 

“There is no career after such courses.”

“You won’t get a government job after a degree from private institute.”  

“Computers are only replacing type-writers.”

You get the point. 

My parents believed in my decision and that support made a lot of difference. I not only completed the course successfully with a state rank, I was also placed as a faculty in the same institute after 4th semester. That was the beginning of a long “work and learn” career where I managed databases, built software, defined processes, built teams from scratch, consulted global customers, travelled countries, ran businesses and led organizations.

“What if I had acted in accordance with those opinions?” I often wonder. That doesn’t matter because it never happened.

What matters is that I decided based on my intuition at the time. I never resisted any opinions because they came from well-intentioned but probably, poorly informed people around me.

Choosing a career stream is like taking the bus. You need to validate the destination before you board. 

But the key point is: Decision making is an art because you have to rely on logic (research etc) and emotion (your energy and intuition). The best decisions are mostly at the intersection of YOUR logic and intuition. 

Take opinions from others and factor them into your research. But don’t decide solely based on the opinion of others. That is a sure way to mediocrity.

As Naval Ravikant says,

“If you want to make the wrong decision, ask everyone.” 

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Our Most Valuable Resource (3/366)

We have a tendency to complicate things. We get caught up in stuff that doesn’t matter. The time we have is short (even though it doesn’t feel like that) and uncertain. Guarding it means being able choose wisely.

We don’t say no because we are unable to see what we are losing. That which we cannot see, we find hard to acknowledge. Things that come for free (e.g. endless social media feeds) have a huge invisible cost.

No is not just about “saying” it to others. It is about the “choices” we make to improve the quality of our lives.