As I evolved, I realized a thing about success. 

That real success is not about “achieving” any one thing, but about balance between things that truly matter to you.

I have seen so many experienced and skilled people who take extreme decisions for their career growth (e.g. living away from kids and family).

Such unilateral chase and sacrifices for success are fine when you are a newbie. Struggle is a part of our life, and that’s what makes us stronger and smarter.

But as you mature and get more skilled, you should be able to choose. Your decisions should create a balance between all domains of your well-being – work, family, health, finance, relationships and other interests.

But what does balance look like? From my own experience, I can say that you have achieved balance when you:

• Work hard, but also take time to relax
• Are available to your family and kids to spend quality time
• Are able to reflect, think and care for the self
• Find time to nurture your other interests
• Find it easy to let go of things that don’t serve you well
• Are compassionate and kind, instead of being anxious or regretful
• Don’t have to “showcase” that you are successful to others (points to ego taking charge)
• Set your compass towards the inside (what do I want from life?) versus setting it outward (What will others think?)
• Know what is “enough”

 Success that comes at the cost of your health, family or relationships is a kind of failure that comes to you in disguise.  

19/366

When you do anything different and worthwhile, other people will rush to copy the form of your work. 

They see the outer layer of your work, notice patterns and try to emulate  the formula they have created in their mind.

However, the heart of your work is the substance you bring to it, the nuance of thought, the quality of care you put in your work. That cannot be copied. 

They cannot copy the attitude and service-orientation you bake in your work. 

They cannot copy your uniqueness.

Even when they can copy all else, they cannot copy your ability to innovate and be creative.

The key is to constantly create and recreate yourself to do the kind of work that others have to catch up on. 

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Dont:

• Say yes when you really want to say no
• Add unnecessary stuff/priorities into your already busy day
• Let someone talk you out of your dreams
• Compare your unique self with others
• Accept what is not right
• Hold your thoughts when you really want to say the truth
• Allow other people to cross the boundaries you have for yourself
• Waste time convincing other people when their best interest is in not being convinced 
• Expect life to be fair with you always
• Try to change things or people you can’t
• Choose something just because everyone else is choosing it
• Focus too much on problems, when you can spend your energy in solving them 

16/366

Last weekend, we travelled to the White Desert of Kutch – white because it is a salt desert formed my evaporating sea water in the bay leaving salt crystals on the land. Walking on that surface felt like walking on another planet. The contrast between endless white crystalized land and clear blue sky was striking.

What was also striking was simplicity of rural people. We took a lunch break along the journey at a roadside restaurant.

We ordered our food and then came a pleasant, simple young boy with a smiling face who served us our food. It was not as much about the food he served (which was delicious) but also the way he treated us. It felt like someone from our family was feeding us with warmth and care. 

Taking orders and serving food was his “job”. Serving clients with an attitude of love and care was his “choice”.

Getting the job is easy, but developing an attitude of service to others takes a really long time.

People don’t remember what you did for them, but they never forget how you treated them – how you made them feel.

That boy at the restaurant did just that, and we can too.

15/366

If I look back, the moments of highest growth happened for me when I got into something I had no idea about. Taking up new jobs in a totally different area, starting hobbies anew, visiting different countries for the first time, meeting diverse people, giving my first TEDx talk, writing a book, building a business – none of these activities came with an instruction manual.

You had to learn as you go about doing it. 

Remember this: When the path ahead of you is clear, you are walking on a trodden path. You are following others.

But when the road ahead seems unclear and foggy, you have a real opportunity to create a new path. The one you can call your own.

We crave for certainty, but certainty is boring. There is no joy in knowing ahead what exactly will happen and how. When we chase certainty, what we really chase is mediocrity. 

Uncertainty keeps us alert and on the edge. Not knowing what to do keeps us alert and active. We are on our toes, learning as the situation unfolds and adapting our approach to it. 

So, if you face a situation when things are uncertain, embrace it. Choose uncertainty of uncharted paths, for that’s where real growth, opportunity and learning is. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing. And if you don’t know what to do, there’s actually a chance of doing something new. As long as you know what you’re doing, nothing much of interest is going to happen.” – Philip Glass

14/366

If you want to grow a plant, quality of seed is just one variable. 

You need a fertile soil. You need manure. You need sunlight. You need water. In short, you need the right environment. 

Talent and mindset that you have is the seed. But you need the right context to plant yourself in (soil). You need coaching and mentoring (manure). You need right challenges (sunlight) where your talent can show up. You need resources (water) to learn and improve.

You need the right environment.

The good news is: You can choose and create your environment.

Suround yourself with people who are doing what you want to do. Interact with them. Learn from them. Get the right mentors. Work with people who challenge you to become better. Read good books. Attend classes, webinars, events that expose you to learning opportunities.  

“Surround yourself with people where your desired behavior is the normal behavior.” – James Clear

It is all about our choices. Choices put us in an environment. Environment widens our perspectives and increases our chances to achieve what we want to achieve. 

We are a product of our environment. 

13/366

In my first ever job interview, someone told me, “We are selecting you because we believe you can do it.”

Those words got me started and I never looked back, because I worked really hard to prove them right. 

Words are energy. They can lift someone up or pull them down. Words create an expectation. Words allow us to create a picture of the world around us. Words can heal and they can hurt. 

Use them carefully – when speaking with others, but most importantly, when speaking with the self. 

When you are with others, listen carefully for the words they use and energy those words carry. Surround yourself with people whose words give you energy.

And then, Be someone whose words fills the room (and minds) with energy. 

Choose the right ones!

Update: I was reminded of this wonderful and award-winning Toastmasters talk on Power of Words by Mohammed Qahtani. MUST WATCH!

12/366

The neighbor is renovating his apartment next door. When noisy drilling machines started breaking tiles and walls, it was impossible to listen to anything, including the self. 

Noise unnerves me like nothing else and the cost of all the development around is noise pollution emanating from cars, traffic, construction and so on.

Then the noisy day turns into night and things become silent. Cars go back home to be parked, drilling machines are silent and people go to sleep. A sense of calm surrounds me and that’s when I am at my productive best. After all, you can’t be creative and thoughtful amidst cacophony of drilling machines. 

But there is other kind of noise that should, but doesn’t unnerve us – and that is the noise of unnecessary words and all the information that keeps getting bombarded at us on a 24x7x365 basis. Social media gives us endless things to consume. Online sources are constantly trying to educate and entertain. People around offering unsolicited advice and opinions. 

Being silent is then about distancing yourself, even if briefly each day, from these sources of noise. It is only when you disconnect from the outside, that you can truly connect inside. Only then, you can understand yourself, process thoughts, frame your own ideas, analyze problems you’re trying to solve, and understand people around you. During my corporate tenure, a personality test revealed to me what I already knew: For every hour I spent engaging with others, I needed an equal amount of time to replenish, reflect and make sense of it all.

Reflection time for me has always been sacred. Silence is a gift that energizes us to engage with the world with fullness and presence. Silence fosters reflection, new ideas and creativity.

DID YOU KNOW? The word “SILENT” is made up of same letters as “LISTEN” and “ENLIST”. It simply means we need to be SILENT to be able to deeply LISTEN to others so that we can ENLIST their wisdom and knowledge.

11/366

Can you steer a parked car? No, right?

When it comes to our tasks, priorities and choices, why do we then try to steer them in our “thinking”? Thinking about things and not doing anything about it is like steering a parked car. It takes you no where. 

Think only enough that gets you started. That first step is what fuels the next. Pick and option and go towards execution because starting is progress. And there is nothing more satisfying than making progress in the direction of our dreams. 

Want to run a marathon? Start with a short walk, before you increase the intensity and distance and then start running.

Wan’t to write a book? Start with one paragraph today, before you write that chapter and then more chapters.

You get the point. 

We crave for 100% clarity before starting anything but the reality is – 100% clarity is impossible when you are doing interesting and exciting things. You learn as you go, but for that, you need to go.

Key questions:

• What habits, goals or aspirations are you thinking about in your mind but not starting? 
• What are those few things that I wish I could do sooner?
• What is that first step you could take? E.g. Want to learn how to play guitar. First step: Inquire about online and offline classes I can join.

Take that first vital step and let the progress along the way guide your journey.

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