Listening with an Open Mind

Here’s a profound quote that highlights the importance of listening with an open mind. 

“To listen is to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what we hear.” – Mark Nepo

Like a windshield, our preconceived notions, beliefs and judgments can block the essence of what other person is trying to say.

When we listen with a closed mind, we absorb only what we think we should know

When we listen with an open mind, we absorb the essence of what other person is saying.

Next time you are in a conversation, listen intentionally. Listening is an art that builds our connection with others.  

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The Angry Boat

This is a timeless wisdom on how to handle situations involving anger in relationships. 

A rule that I have personally followed for so many year (and it has helped me immensely at work and in life) is this: “There can be only one person in the angry boat.”

Anger as a response to anger escalates conflict. Calm in the face of anger is a step forward in resolving it. 

Mahatma Gandhi got it right: “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.”

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You are what you read and who you meet

I can tell this from my experience:

What you become eventually is a result books you read, stories you consume and people you meet. 

That’s because all of the above helps you broaden your awareness. 

Awareness helps us choose better.

Choices we make, end up making us. 

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Deciding and Doing

There is a HUGE difference between deciding to do something and actually doing it. 

Consider this riddle:

5 frogs are sitting on a log of wood. 3 decide to jump. How many frogs remain?

Answer? 5, because 3 have only decided to jump. They have not actually jumped yet. 

A decision is only as valuable as your ability to act on it. 

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Trying to Catch Two Monkeys

If you try to catch two monkeys at the same time, you’ll miss both.

If you are thinking about meeting a friend while studying, you are neither meeting the friend, nor studying. You are missing out on both.

Do one thing at a time, and do it well. Multi-tasking is a myth. 

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The Value of Following Up

To get anything done, you have to follow-up with yourself or other people who are getting it done. 

Knowing what needs to be done (e.g. task lists) is a good start. But following up is the key to execution. It is the key to getting any job done.

Create tasks but revisit them end of each day. What is completed? What is pending? What will you do tomorrow to complete? Who can help you do it? What dependencies do you have?

This simple system of revisiting and following up with your own tasks persistently is a great way to keep yourself (and others) accountable.

That’s how we make progress. That’s how things get done. 

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Vitamin N?

As we grow, we tend to spend most of the time for Vitamin-M (Money). It’s necessary but not sufficient for living a good life. 

We need Vitamin-N (Nature) too. Each morning, get some sunlight. Walk barefoot on grass. Build hobbies that help you stay close to nature (e.g. photography or hiking). Sit in the balcony and hear birds chirping in the morning. Watch monsoon clouds passing by. Chase a good sunset. Plant a tree (or a sapling). Care for a pet. 

This becomes important in today’s world where natural spaces are being encroached by urban developments – and we are spending most of our time in curated spaces that has a lot of style but very little substance. 

Nature provides us with substance.

How about replacing or matching your “screen” time with “green time”?

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Keeping Promises with Self

When we make a promise to someone else, we are more likely to keep it. 

But what about promises that we make to ourselves?

The easiest person to take for granted is your own self. We have a tendency to put our plans on a backseat the moment someone else out there starts expecting us to do something. We have been taught that it is selfish to prioritize ourselves. It’s not.

That needs to change, IF you want to chart your own unique path.

Because constantly working on expectations of others makes you mediocre. It’s important to serve others and while you are doing it, be selfless.

Greatness comes from working on YOUR own priorities. When you work on your own priorities (whether it’s your health, well being, projects, career etc), be selfish. That’s when you can bring your real self into the game. 

That’s when you differentiate. 

That’s how you thrive. 

P.S: This is as much a note to the self as much as a note to you.

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Step Away to Solve

Stuck in something that you are not able to solve?

Take a break. Step away. Take a walk. Listen to your favorite song. Talk to someone about something different. Take a nap. 

When we step away to a place of calm, our sub-conscious mind builds perspective. It enables you to view the situation/problem through an different lens. 

That often leads to a breakthrough, a solution, a response. 

When in doubt, step out!

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Yet

“I am not good at that” is a language of victim. 

If it is your choice to not be good at something, say “It have chosen not to invest my time learning it.”

If you intend to get better at something you are not good at, you can say “I am not good at that yet.”

“Yet” changes everything. It changes your posture towards the possibility that you can be great someday. 

Using proactive language may make an impact on others, but more importantly, it changes the way you approach things. 

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